Keep the Love Alive
With the day of love fast approaching, we get advice from those longtime married couples about how to stay in love.
With Valentine’s Day a little more than a week away, cupid’s arrow has definitely struck me.
And you can take others’ words for it. This week, I focused on speaking to those who have more marital experience than I do, preferably those who’ve been married around the five-year mark. I asked them to speak about keeping the love in marriage.
Through Facebook and interviews, we heard from a number of people about what it takes to make sure to keep the love and relationship going.
Florissant natives Don and Mickey Zykan, who have been married for 42 years, gave the advice that “love is more than just one ingredient.”
“Aside from love, we treat each other with dignity, respect and compassion,” he wrote. “We enjoy the people and things we like together, yet give each other the space for our individual friends and likes and hobbies.”
Mom columnist Maria Jansen, who wrote on our Facebook page, advises: “Go on a date every week (doesn't need to be intricately planned or even cost any money) to talk about specific areas of life (money, children―or the possibility of, things difficult to accept about each other, hopes/dreams for future together, fears).”
I also went and spoke to one of the couples that I most admire around town, de.lish Cheesecake Bakery and Café owners Jeff and Kris Mullersman.
The couple works, lives and raises a child together, and that has to be a tall order.
Kris said that it’s a struggle to balance it all, and it’s been a big adjustment for their relationship in opening a business. Jeff said prior to opening their business, the two didn’t get to see too much of each other as he worked 10-12 hour days.
But the 14-year married couple has made progress toward better balance with closing their café on Sundays as well as staying in step for a solid marriage.
“Sometimes you have to open your ears and close your mouth,” Jeff Mullersman said. “Don’t think that the other person knows it. Say it.”
Most importantly, despite working as business partners, they both agree to remember your family first and foremost.
“We’re not just a business, we’re a family, too,” he said. “That has to come first.”